Introduction

It should be noted that I have not yet decided if I will let anyone in my every day life read the posts on this blog. So if you are a human that I actually know who is currently reading this, I suppose you are of great importance in my life. (Go you!)

I am not sure what I hope to gain by starting this. I'm not sure what I expect, if anything. I guess I feel I need some sort of outlet for my thoughts, and for some reason, this feels different than a physical journal even though it's the same idea. I can just never keep up with writing in a journal.

That being said... hello world, I'm Rose. No one really calls me that except for one special person, but I will get to him soon enough. I am not your typical Southern California girl. Instead of the sun, spray tans, and plastic surgery, I prefer heavy metal, fishnets, and concerts. Give me a pair of platform boots over stilettos any day of the week. The goth scene is my jam, although I do not go to clubs very often (that may soon change). I am perpetually anxious with a side of depression for flavor. I am liberal as fuck, and if I had to put myself into a religious category, Atheism would be the best fit. I feel the most comfortable with a camera in my hands, and in a photo pit at a metal or industrial show. I'm sure you're getting the picture... I am all things dark and gloomy. On the inside though, I am a big softy. I am what you might call a hopeless romantic (emphasis on the hopeless most days), and I am also misanthropic. It's interesting to be both of those things at the same time. I suppose people aren't all bad, but with how fucked up the world is, it's difficult to know who to trust. This might come off as a bit pessimistic, but more often than not, people are only out for themselves. It has been a defense mechanism to hide behind the black clothes and resting bitch face, for if people do not approach me, they cannot get to know me. If they cannot get to know me (and vice versa), they cannot hurt me. Simple, right? It is if you intend on being alone forever, which ideally, I do not. So, I have been on a journey of self-discovery and self-healing for the past year and a half. I am doing my best to break out of my shell and work on myself. I really do want to get better. I have over two decades of attachment and abandonment issues to work through (thanks dad!), and a lifetime of self-loathing. I know that it will be a lot of work, but it will be more than worth it in the end.

Of course, this is only a tiny sliver of who I am, but come on this journey with me, and we will both discover so much more.

Buckle up, bitches! ;)